Enlightening Thoughts

Sunday, February 27, 2011

American Pie, but with a burger instead

      Yeah, I would totally do it. A big juicy burger, hot french fries, and a bevy (adult or not) is one of my all time favorite meals. I freakin love hamburgers! Now of course I'm

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Amazon.com needs to sell virtual crotch-punches

     Ok here's one of my biggest pet peeves: Dumbasses that write product reviews. As a security guard, I have a lot of time to sit and browse the internet on my phone or the office and I must say, reading Amazon reviews is a hilarious time waster and also PEEVE INDUCER! I cannot believe how fucking stupid, ignorant, bitchy, prudish and completely shit-headed people can be!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

"Naughty" swear words: Where the fuck do they come from?

      If I was to say "My dog needs to take a poop." Would you think anything of it? What about if I used the word crap? Turd? No, still nothing? Ok what if I said shit. I have now crossed some imaginary line into profanity.

Ask god if the bible is true: A reassuring trick

      As I was sitting at work at 3:00 in the morning something hit me right in the face (and it wasn't that elusive Travelocity gnome this time). In my 20 years I spent as a Mormon, I've heard many lessons and testimonies given about what to do if you're doubting the validity of the Bible